The Nastiest Things You've Ever Seen on the Subway
We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into when we asked for your subway horror stories. Here are some of the grossest things we've ever heard, and the winner of our sick little contest.
We heard lots of tales of blood, puke, poop, sores, strange liquids, horrible smells, and various and assorted other putrid things, but here are the real stand-outs that made the top 10 list. (Click on the commenter's name to read the MTA-related horror in full.)
- Subway Relief: by Bozofish
- Streaked Streaker: by Mount Prion
- A Corpse Is a Corpse: by El_Gato
- A Mile in His Shoes: by Missy
- Rhymes with Bum: by Durer's Rhino
- Pointing a Finger: by RLBrown08
- Try OB and You'll See: by FatMonaLisa
- Oh No He Didn't: by JohnTheCraptist
- Subway Haiku: by NicePony
- Turtle Tits: by Ulfbjorn
- Karmic Justice: by Tequila Mockingbird
- Caught in the Act: by JoelButler75
- Halloween Fright: by FlysArt
- Lose Your Head: by Sam Smithereen
(There is also a special commendation for disgusting behavior on the Chicago public transportation system that goes to Fantasticrafts for her tale Platform Surprise.)
Thanks to everyone who participated. All of the runners-up who didn't have a star before have one now. But there could only be one winner, ladies and gentlemen, and that honor goes to Artful Slinger. He left us with three tales in all, but the first one is a story that is so incredibly disturbing that it is going to haunt me every morning and evening during my commute. Thanks for ruining my life! Email me to redeem your prize of a $10 Metrocard. For the rest of you, all you get is the horrible vision that is ArtfulSlinger's story. It is below:
While transferring from the L to the E at 14th street one night, very late, I was treated, with a handful of other folks, to quite a show. A scantily clad, mid-40's black woman, who had to be on some sort of illegal substance, was playing with herself while straddling one of the those wooden benches. At first, when I was approaching I thought she was just joking around, but she then grabbed a soda bottle or something from the garbage next to her and inserted. I almost threw up and ran far far far away. Sadly, I'm sure many people stuck around.
Thanks to all for your horrifying stories, and happy riding!