Ideally, the World Cup would be a beautiful rainbow of humanity that showed how prejudices can be overcome through the universal language of sport. Why does France have to ruin this by being such insufferable Frenchy ponces?

Currently, the French soccer team is on strike, refusing to train for their upcoming (crucial) match against South Africa. What a very French thing to do. It seems that labor disputes in France are not only limited to seemingly biweekly walk-outs by essential service providers, but also millionaire athletes competing at the most important tournament in their sport. Very democratic! (Which the French also are known for: democracy.)

The strike is to protest the fact that French player Nicolas Anelka was sent home early after getting into a pissing match with Coach Raymond Domenech. In the locker room during the halftime of France's 2-0 defeat to Mexico, Anelka told Domenech to, "Fuck off, you dirty son of a whore." (""Va te faire enculer, sale fils de pute" ) Judging from French cinema, whores are much more respected in that country than in the US, but French coach Raymond Domenech still sent Anelka home after he refused to apologize.

The French squad might have been content with just huffing about the "traitor among us" who leaked the Anelka-Domenech squabble to the media. But when the team suited up today for their training session, French captain Patrice Evra had words with fitness coach Robert Duverne. According to the BBC,

Duverne is understood to have stormed away from an argument with Manchester United left-back Evra, throwing his accreditation badge to the ground.

Mon Dieu! Gallic tempers flared! The team walked off the training field to nurse their feelings in the bus. And if this wasn't bad enough, a filthy French journalist contaminated our own wholesome airwaves by quoting Anelka's insult live on ESPN, instantly corrupting thousands of innocent American children:

Hey, France, you guys can self-implode into a team of prissy, foul-mouthed divas. Just leave America out of it!