Kathy Myers, a 41-year-old woman from the broke-ass wasteland known commonly as Michigan, recently shot herself in the shoulder hoping that emergency doctors would also have to fix a different shoulder injury while they were working on her. They didn't.

Myers hurt her shoulder while playing with her dogs in her yard (Extreme Frisbee? Advanced Go-Git-It?) and, as one of the 1.2 million folks in Michigan without health insurance, had to endure weeks of pain without treatment. Finally she decided to take matters drastically into her own hands.

They said it would have to be life-threatening or imminent danger for them to do anything, so I was making it be imminent danger that something had to be done.

In addition to not getting her shoulder fixed — they took care of the bullet wound but not the other injury — Myers might face criminal charges for discharging a firearm within the city limits of Niles, MI. But don't worry, she's not suicidal, she says.

I have no suicide wish. My life sucks right now but I want to live. I've got lots to live for and there's more good than bad in everything in my life, so that's not what it was about at all…I just want to take the pain away.