Wow, a pair of gay, one-eyed spacemen named Wenlock and Mandeville are the mascots for London's 2012 Olympics. Before you judge: We've exclusively obtained a transcript which shows how a London design studio came up with the mascots.

5:38pm January 12th, 2010: T— Design Studio, London

DESIGNER ONE: OK, we need to design the mascots for the 2012 Olympics.

DESIGNER TWO: But I'm tired!

DESIGNER ONE: Here, we'll make it easy. We can just reuse the pattern for the walking penises we made for the London SEXpo.

DESIGNER TWO: Great! Should they have fingers? Or creepy stub-like claw things?

DESIGNER ONE: Stub-like claws. Fingers are really hard to do.

DESIGNER TWO: I think their trademark gesture should be the "sieg heil".

DESIGNER ONE: Definitely. They should walk around and just do the sieg heil everywhere.

DESIGNER TWO: I still can't believe that London chose a neo-Nazi design firm like us to make their Olympics mascot.

DESIGNER ONE: We've got some extra blue fabric. What should we do with it?

DESIGNER TWO: Well, one of the key principles of mascot design is to draw attention to the crotch. So let's put it there.

DESIGNER ONE: OK, all done. Let's go get drunk.

DESIGNER TWO: We're already drunk.