It's been a few days since a Catholic priest said something truly awful, so Brazilian archbishop Dadeus Grings decided it was time to tell a local newspaper all sorts of crazy shit. Hint: Gay teens really upset him.

According to Brazilian newspaper O Globo, old man Grings went on a little tirade about the Church's troubles at the National Conference of Brazilian Bishops this week. Just how can the Church's image problem — you know, the thing about priests molesting children — be rectified? Grings says it's about time to get back to some good old fashioned discrimination and blame the gays:

When sexuality is trivialized, it's clear that this is going to affect all cases. Homosexuality is such a case. Before, the homosexual wasn't spoken of. He was discriminated against.

"When we begin to say they have rights, rights to demonstrate publicly, pretty soon, we'll find the rights of paedophiles," he said.

So how can pedophiles be stopped (besides arresting and prosecuting kiddie-touching priests and maybe dealing with the whole celibacy thing)? Start early, because letting your kid play with other kids of the same sex will definitely make them gay. All teens, deep down, are gay. Grings knows this.

We know that the adolescent is spontaneously homosexual. Boys play with boys, girls play with girls," he said. "If there is no proper guidance, this sticks. The question is — how are we going to educate our children to use a sexuality that is human and suitable?"

Good question! Maybe we could start by telling them to watch out for priests like you? The Archbishop has made a name for himself over the years for saying ridiculous things to the press. For instance, last year he told a Brazilian magazine that "more Catholics than Jews died in the Holocaust, but this isn't known because the Jews control the world's media.'' When in doubt about history, blame the Jews (and the gays)!

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