What the hell...the U.S. government—which depends on consumer tax revenue—has started a new program to "educate" kids on how advertising works. Outlandish! Oh, wait—by "educate," they mean "indoctrinate, as enthusiastic consumers." Please continue!

1. The NYT reports that the fun educational website, Admongo.gov, features lots of fake brands with fake ads that kids "think critically" about. But the materials are "nonjudgmental."

2. The National Advertising Review Council loves it! Because the program takes "a straightforward approach that does not go a step further and demonize advertising."

3. The program was developed in part by MASSIVE CORPORATE PROPAGANDA MINISTRY Fleishman-Hillard.

Think critically, kids: are Nikes really cooler than Adidas? Are Frosted Flakes really more yummy than Cocoa Puffs? Let's learn!