Michael Lohan says he took cops to Lindsay's house on Thursday to check on Ali. Dina Lohan says Michael didn't even recognize Ali. Lindsay Lohan says her father is "the devil's advocate," whatever that means. Who do we believe?

Here's what we know: Michael Lohan arrived at his daughter Lindsay's house accompanied by several men dressed as Sheriff's deputies. Lindsay freaked out, and live-tweeted the episode. But questions remain: Why did Michael show up? Did he have ulterior motives? Does he even know his daughters? Were those even real policemen?

Michael's Side of the Story: Michael just has the best interests of his daughters in mind! Two days ago, he heard that Lindsay and Ali drove home from a scary rock concert at 115 miles an hour (How did Michael know this? Why, because he asked a paparazzo friend of his to follow them, of course). Michael felt scared for his daughter Ali, who he loves. So he called up the friendly Sheriff's department, and along with some helpful Sheriff's deputies, paid a visit to his daughters. They were not particularly receptive to his desire to check on Ali's welfare, so Michael left, with the intention of getting an attorney and demanding a "conservatorship," so he can raise Ali like a "normal 16-year-old," with his new wife, famous journalist and D-list celebrity-sexer Kate Major.

Lindsay's Side of the Story: Lindsay was just minding her own business on Thursday afternoon reading Foreign Policy [Ed. Note: Not really] when her "ex-father" Michael Lohan appeared! With policemen!! Or were they? "my BUILDING didn't STOP him, isn't it supposed to be safe? THAT'S WHY I MOVED HERE! it coulda been FAKE cops! dressed up!," she Tweeted to her close friend, @Jeannette____. One thing's for sure: Lindsay was not driving 100 miles an hour. Michael is a "nuts" "stalker" and a "pathological liar." He is also "like the devil's advocate."

Dina's Side of the Story: Dina wasn't there, and she was specifically warned by her attorneys told to say anything about the events, but who gives a shit, due to freedom of speech. "I was told by my attorneys not to speak because it is very serious and my ex could be in big trouble. He's dangerous.... If he can't get to them he is going to try to hurt them — it's not good," she told TMZ. Dina says that Michael didn't even recognize Ali when he paid his friendly visit to his daughters: "Michael walked into the apartment looked right at Ali and said, I'm looking for my daughter Ali, is she here? That's from Ali's lips to God's ears. He didn't even recognize his own daughter," she told RadarOnline.

Ali's Side of the Story: No one seems to have asked Ali what happened.

So who is right? As Rashomon teaches us, everyone... and no one! Happy postmodernism, everyone.

[RadarOnline; TMZ]