It's a well-established fact that hero boat captain Richard Phillips is a hero, for getting kidnapped by Somali pirates. But his ungrateful crew members are still hating on him for publishing a heroic book, about his heroism. Why, haters?

"Some of his former crew members insist the pirates were able to board the ship as quickly as they did — within five minutes of reaching it — and take the captain hostage only because Phillips failed to lock the bridge doors, his self-assigned security duty." Also, the fact that Phillips chose to steer the ship through known pirate waters in the first place. Hey guys, where's your sense of adventure? You'll never get a book deal with that attitude.