Sandy is afraid divorce will make Jesse crazy. Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber aren't breaking up. Dennis Hopper has to shell out fat alimony payments. Michael Jackson's doctor won't cop a plea. Tuesday's gossip is due in family court.

  • Sandra Bullock's public shaming continues. Apparently the reason why she hasn't filed divorce yet is because she is afraid that cheating husband Jesse James will go mental and spill all her secrets. What those secrets are, no one is sharing, but we bet it has something to do with the sacrifice she made to the devil to make a mediocre movie like The Proposal into a gigantic hit. Things aren't going so great for Jesse, who is back in sex rehab. Now there are rumors that James made more than twelve sex tapes featuring him in Nazi regalia getting it on with a bunch of different fräulein floozies. Still, his lawyer says that he loves his wife "more than anything in his life," including his tattoos and his prized Luger gun collection. While James is out in the doghouse trying to get his life straight, Sandy B has the help of her famous celebrity friends like, um, George Lopez. He stopped by the star's house yesterday to see how she was doing and to offer his services if she needs them. He knows people. People who could make very bad things happen, to very bad people. [Radar Online, Ibid, People, E! Online]
  • Don't worry, everyone. Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts are not breaking up. We didn't even think that they were. This news is a bit like telling people in the Sahara that a flood isn't coming. [Gatecrasher]
  • Ailing conservative star Dennis Hopper, embroiled in a messy death-bed divorce from his liberal-leaning wife Victoria, was ordered to pay her $12,000 a month in spousal and child support. She is also allowed to stay in one of the houses in his Venice compound. Still this one isn't even close to over yet, folks. [People]
  • Michael Jackson's doctor of death Conrad Murray said that there is no way that he will ever cop a plea, insisting that the King of Pop gave himself a lethal dose of an anesthetic. Talk about all your eggs in a very flimsy basket! [TMZ]
  • The cast of Jersey Shore is being mobbed by fans and paparazzi as well as their attendant camera crews as they hit up all the hottest clubs in Miami. What happened to Snooki being ignored at Karma? Yeah, season two is gonna suck. We can't wait. [P6]
  • This was an actual headline from the New York Daily News today. Repeat, this is not from The Onion: "Heidi Montag reveals she also had her 'back scooped' during surgery spree. When asked to explain what a 'back scoop' procedure entails, Montag said she didn't know." [NYDN]
  • Whitney Houston had to cancel a tour date in Europe because of a respiratory infection. Early reports say that it had nothing to do with crack. [Popeater]
  • Devorah Rose, a participant on High Society, an editrix of some Social Life pamphlet, a hater of socialite Tinsley Mortimer, and a professional party crasher thinks that she deserves her own reality show. The universe disagrees. [P6]

[Image via Getty]