The socialist Obamacare bill has conservative columnists scrambling for any lame historical analogy they can scrap together. But the hottest one, Napoleon's Waterloo, is being used for the commies and the God-fearing patriots. Straighten this out guys, it's getting confusing!

In light of the Democratic victory, The Weekly Standard's resident asshole Bill Kristol has temporarily given up on using the battle of Waterloo for Obama, opting instead for a battle in Russia where Napoleon won, but lost a third of his army. Ooh! Kind of like the passage of health care reform leading to The Republican Takeover of Everything!

Barack Obama was able to muscle his health care plan through, and therefore avoided a legislative defeat that Sen. Jim DeMint had said would be his Waterloo. But Waterloo was always an imperfect analogy. Leaving aside the injustice to Napoleon of comparing Obama to him, the better analogy is Borodino [Russia]."

Then comes the Big Statement:

Last night was Obama's Borodino. Obama's Waterloo will be November 6, 2012."

Then we have the gentler, but only slightly less asshole-ish David Frum, who says it's the Republicans who have just lost at Waterloo. But fear not, right wing, Frum has some ideas on how to get back the swagger. For starters? Chill out.

Now the overheated talk is about to get worse. Over the past 48 hours, I've heard conservatives compare the House bill to the Kansas-Nebraska Act of 1854 — a decisive step on the path to the Civil War. Conservatives have whipped themselves into spasms of outrage and despair that block all strategic thinking."

And finally:

The "Waterloo" threatened by GOP Sen. Jim DeMint last year regarding Obama and health care has finally arrived all right: Only it turns out to be our own."

So there it is. Conservatives have thoroughly confused themselves and can't get their historical comparisons straight. But whatever, Waterloo 2 is coming in November 2012!

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