In a special new Sunday newspaper roundup, we discover that Jamaica has the best photo illustrations and a crime boss named "Dudus Coke." SF Chronicle's still talking about pill parties, NYT identifies a new recession carpetbagger, NYPost on Jihad Junior.

Just when you thought the pharm party myth was receding to the back corners of Snopes, the San Francisco Chronicle puts "Pill Parties Give Teens Entry Into Addiction" above the fold. My disbelief is compounded by an inability to find this article online no matter how many searches I do. But the Newseum says it's in today's paper! Bay Area readers, what's the scoop?

The New York Times leads with a new feature on The New Poor, an introduction to the sleazy world of "a conspicuous beneficary of the recession: for-profit colleges and trade schools." Apparently they're making the big bucks by preying on jobless desperation and the dreams of those foolish enough to hope. (Yes, I'm being dramatic. But they're really awful.) We also get a neat Sports story about acrobatic free surfers and the effect of snowboarding and skateboarding on those who ride waves, and a sad story about how Mexico's drug cartels have intimidated journalists into silence by killing so many of their peers.

The New York Post leads with Jihad Junior, the terrifying six-year-old son of Jihad Jamie. Choice quotes: "He said that Christians will burn in hellfire" and "The boy said: 'We are building pipes [pipe bombs] like the Fourth of July!" This story is so insane. I can't get enough of it. Meanwhile, look at the coincidental use of the word BAG on the Post's and Daily News' covers. One is about fashion, the other is columnist Michael Daly shaming politicians for letting the 9/11 compensation fund for expire.

Boring Washington Post makes like a responsible newspaper and talks about politics. Obama wants to overhaul No Child Left Behind. Kids will still be tested every year (Does the No. 2 pencil lobby have Obama in its pocket?) but the emphasis will about academic growth, not passing or failing. Obama's proposal would grant $29 billion in school aid, a 16 percent increase. WaPo also tackles prescription drug abuse, but in a far less tawdry way than "pill parties."

The Jamaica Observer has better pictures than American papers do. They lead with a rumored throwdown between Jamaican and U.S. governments over the extradition of alleged crime boss/arms dealer/drug trafficker Christopher 'Dudus' Coke. (With a name like that, he must be guilty.) Jamaica won't want to hand him over because they think U.S. investigators broke local privacy laws. Now they may seen U.N. mediation, all of which is a far tamer story than multiple rad picture of shirtless world leaders boxing (with referee Ban Ki-Moon!) would suggest. What, that's not how diplomacy works? Silvio Berlusconi is quitting.

Military newspaper Stars and Stripes says four servicemen in Haiti may be punished for contracting malaria, which means they failed to take their anti-malarial drugs. It's like a condensed version of the vaccine ethics debate, but with real sick people and no Jenny McCarthy. Mostly, I am fascinated by their mosquito-repellent sleeping bags. Like coffins with screen doors.