An "intuitive psychic" healer named Aiden is her new manager. James Brown's body goes missing from its crypt. Socialite shocked to discover racism, anti-semitism, homophobia make you unpopular. Corey Haim died of a too-big heart. Friday gossip is so alone.

  • Maybe those blind items about their impending break-up (and Spencer cheating) were true? Heidi Montag fired husband Spencer Pratt, who had been her manager for the duration of their one-year marriage. Her new manager: "Healer intuitive Aiden Chase. ... Having an intuitive psychic leading my team gives me a edge no one else has." She continues, "Never mix business with pleasure. We are no longer Speidi but Spencer and Heidi." I feel like a dirge is in order, but will settle for this 2007 picture of vintage Speidi, [fig.1] from the days before Heidi's DDDs and before Spencer's flesh-colored beard. We will grudgingly miss you, Speidi. But not too much. [People]
  • James Brown's body is missing from its crypt according to daughter LaRhonda Pettit: "My daddy's body has disappeared. I have no clue where it was taken, but I need to know where. I'm convinced his death was suspicious and I want the people responsible brought to justice. The only way to do that is to exhume his body and have an autopsy." Okay, this lady sounds sort of crazy. Pettit was one of the twelve people who claimed to be Brown's illegitimate kin after his death; DNA proved that Pettit's claim was true. (With a 0.01 percent margin of doubt.) "It was common knowledge that my daddy took illegal drugs. ... At the very least there were enablers." Now she just sounds sad and yearning. [DailyMail via GlasgowRose]
  • Gerard and Jen are back to rubbing their faces all over each other in public. Is The Bounty Hunter really premiering already? Time flies.[TMZ]
  • High Society villainess Jules Kirby, whose premiere episode quotes included, "My friends do not tend to be homosexuals, fat, or Jewish-y bald" and "I use the N-word sometimes" and "Someone needs to get that black girl out of here" is irritated that the CW is editing her "to look like a stupid bitch." She also says "The show is scripted, and we are given lines and characters," but if they gave her the character, then why is she surprised/complaining about edits? Also: "stupid" is the least of your image problems, Jules. [P6]
  • A gaggle of teen girls saw Jessica Biel through a diner widow and wrote her name on their notebooks and held it against the glass so everyone would know Biel was there. "Biel, dining alone, then turned and smiled at the girls." I would really like to have witnessed this "smile." I imagine there was a world of subtext on that face. [P6]
  • Corey Haim had an enlarged heart and water in his lungs when he died, as well as prescriptions for Valium, Vicodin, and unfortunately-named muscle relaxant Soma. (Remember the creepy happy pills from Brave New World?) "He told me he had a skip in his heart" said his manager. [NYDN]
  • From one creepy Jessica Simpson lover to another: Billy Corgan says John Mayer is self-destructing. "It's hard to watch someone literally burn their career to the ground—speaking as somebody who's done it." He thinks Mayer should take some time off, because "some part of [his career] is irritating his soul to the point where he's trying to blow it up." As for the painful-sounding "sexual napalm" thing, "there's things you should really just keep your mouths shut on." [RollingStone]
  • Speaking of Jess: Hairstylist Ken Paves wasn't supposed to be a character in her show The Price of Beauty. He was supposed to do her hair, but "it was impossible to get him out of the shot when taping began." He knows where the money is. Get ready for a fameball... [P6]
  • A paparazzo fed a parking meter for Renee Zellweger, who thanked him by giving him a $100 Starbucks gift card. The celebrity-paparazzo relationship should be studied by anthropologists; it's antagonistic, symbiotic, menacing, and humane all at once. [P6]
  • Charlie Sheen is ready for a plea bargain, and wants to go "no contest" on a misdemeanor to get out of his felony domestic assault case. Wife Brooke Mueller "was under the influence" during the attack and "would rather walk on coals than testify," but the prosecution's physical evidence may be strong enough to go ahead, anyway. Meanwhile, Sheen returns to shooting Two and a Half Men on Tuesday. Who the hell is watching that show? I see this man's face and I want to barf. [TMZ]
  • "DMX is the #1 draft pick to appear on the next season of Celebrity Rehab." The main issue is whether they can get him on the show before he goes to jail. [TMZ]
  • A guy in Georgia who posted a YouTube video calling for Elton John's death has been arrested for "terroristic threats." He was pissed about the "Jesus was gay" thing. [NYDN]
  • Lehava be damned! Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Rafaeli looked "very much in love" shopping in L.A. [P6]

Figure 1.