Sex pervs are clamoring to "get a lick of the most vile substance ever fabricated," ejaculates Andrea Peyser in her sex column today. That substance: breast milk cheese. Andrea Peyser does not dream of suckling its tender surface, okay?

We'll wager that ever since the Post reported on Lori Morgan's generous offering of her breast milk for her husband's cheesemaking, Andrea Peyser has been unable to get the topic off her mind. Andrea's doubtless been wracked with visions of a woman unveiling her heaving bosom and pumping out its warm, creamy contents for the flavorful enjoyment of all...why, it's not something Andrea Peyser enjoys contemplating, for sure.

A Manhattan restaurateur's giddy use of his wife's breast milk in the creation of gourmet cheese intended for consumption by rational adults — an exhibitionistic and un-hygienic exercise in haute and ick cuisine — does more than violate standards of privacy, decency, common sense and good health.

It also haunts the thoughts of Andrea Peyser, day and night, leaving her unable to rid herself of the image of a luscious nipple bursting with the nectar of life, so inviting yet so taboo.

Andrea Peyser dislikes this. And breasts in general. Get that straight.