In your wicked Wednesday media column: Dan Rather apologizes for not understanding the Twitter, looming BusinessWeek layoffs, the Ellies go to the usual suspects, and Jason Mulgrew's book is here.

Dan Rather apologized sort of for the fact that people got offended that he "used the analogy of selling watermelons by the side of the road" when talking about something related to Obama, a black man. LOOK HE'S FROM THE COUNTRY OR WHATEVER AND ALWAYS SAYS CRAZY THINGS, OKAY? Jesus, people. Dan Rather is A-Okay with us, despite being clearly insane. For those of you who just want to skim this post for key words without reading the whole thing: Dan Rather, watermelons, Obama.

Bloomberg-owned Businessweek is in store for 30 layoffs later this week, Keith Kelly says. (BW had 130 layoffs late last year). Which is bad, but probably not as bad as it would have been had Bloomberg not bought the magazine (everyone into a pit of fire).

Who else besides Men's Health is up for a National Ab-azine Award this year? New York, The New Yorker, you know, the same shit as always, places with the "good" stories. Frozen out unjustly again: F.E.D.S.

Greatest blog-to-book news of the day: Jason Mulgrew's book "Everything Is Wrong With Me" is finally in stores! For those who don't know, Jason Mulgrew is a funny guy who blogged about sports and masturbation and being fat in New York and got a book deal before it was even a "thing" or "meme," so recognize (with money).