Not because she's undeserving, but because she doesn't know who she's supposed to ask. So now she's @-tweeting random people and performing the bizarre tasks they tell her she must do.

Rock music's most prolific social media diarrheaist apparently failed at her last attempt to verify @CourtneyLoveUK. ("Location: NYC presently") She falsely announces that verification requires 160,000 followers (Popularity ploy or misunderstanding? Because this guy has 168) then turns to her followers for advice. They spring to life with that special blend of abbreviated nonsense and factual irrelevance that only crowd sourcing can provide, and Love latches on to an arbitrary handful of them, growing increasingly enraged as she followed their advice.

@Certifiedcelebs is the Twitter feed of Twitle, a third-party aggregator of celebrity tweets. They have no official affiliation to Twitter, and thus no impact on the status of your account. They were kind enough to respond anyway. And, um, to pull her chain a little bit:

No, Courtney, they're lying to you! Here is the real way to get verified, which I have broken into 140-character, retweetable segments so you will understand.

Seriously, though, if you're out there, Courtney: Here is Twitter's Verified Account help page, and here is the verification form. Or you could try Mickey Kaus' secret Twitter Celebrity Services department. If Audrina, Paris, and the Shannon Twins can do it, then so can you.* [CourtneyLoveUK]

* or your assistant