Multiple choice: Last night, jack-of-all-pop-culture Touré was... (a.) Twitter-hacked by his "cousin (PhD student/insane mf)" (b.) insensitive about delicate issues like rape, race, and sex (c.) a genius at stoking controversy (d.) all of the above.

Touré—journalist and talking head for BET, MSNBC, and everything in between—went on a breathtakingly bizarre Twitter rant about mixed race relationships and the secret antebellum awesomeness of white masters having sex with black slaves.

A most controversial gloss on American history. One that would enrage a sizable portion of the population. One that (dare we say?) might require more than 140 characters to figure out. And one that Touré would ultimately blame on an unnamed cousin, who goes under the bus right here:

But does Touré's mysterious cousin really exist? His followers (some of them now un-followers) cast doubt:

...and invent a new hashtag: #tourescousin

Then again, this is exactly the kind of logically faulty, post-P.C. tomfoolery you'd expect from a humanities grad student. Or maybe it was an invisible white person? It's a riddle wrapped in a mystery peppered with micro-controversy wearing a fig leaf where its nut cup should be.