Gaga's dress gets messy in the snow, Jersey Shore's Vinny forgoes a surreal appearance at Yale. John Mayer apologizes for using the n-word. Amanda Bynes doesn't see why craving "chocolate" men is wrong. Thursday's gossip is white all over.

  • Snowpocalypse knows not the divide between celebrity and mortal, nor Ivy League and state school. Jersey Shore star Vinny has been "detained" in L.A. and is unable to fly back east in time to host Yale's "Kiss Away Cancer Date Auction." If only cancer actually worked that way. [TMZ]
  • In other snowed-in celebrity news, Lady Gaga was photographed cavorting outdoors in a flimsy Marc Jacobs gown that I liked better on Christina Ricci. Later that day, Gaga turned her experience dodging flakes into frosty, pearl-encrusted look at New York Fashion Week's amFAR benefit. [fig.1] Much better. [Radar] [DailyMail]
  • John Mayer apologized via Twitter for using the n-word in an interview with Playboy where he said, "If you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass." And since Mayer doesn't, he had to lick boots. In a later tweet he noted, "I think it's time to stop trying to be so raw in interviews." [TMZ] [Tweet] [Tweet]
  • Hold up. Suri Cruise wearing lipstick in this picture. I wonder if Katie has it in her to be a pageant mom. [Celebitchy]
  • Just when we thought Madonna had moved on to a sexy Basque lover, she's spotted in a sexy situation with Jesus Luz. The only reasonable explanation is that Madge, Jesus, and Jon the Basque are in engaged in orgiastic poly-love. In other news, Madonna needs to lay off the facial fillers. She is restylaned to the point of Marshmallow Man. [DailyMail]
  • Dina Lohan's down-market shoe brand, Shoe-Han, is dead before it even launched. Shoe-Han patron Love My Shoe cited "continued economic sluggishness," but Dina's publicist took aim at Love My Shoes: "There was a miscommunication over finances. This was too local and we need a larger partner." Zing. Guffaw. [Fox411]
  • Don't call Sarah Jessica Parker by her first name. It's "Sarah Jessica," and Chris Noth says she'll stab you with a stiletto if you forget the second part. [SeriouslyOMG]
  • Heidi Montag's new Playboy cover is definitely happening. InTouch says she's been offered $500,000 to "debut her brand-new DDD boobs," which is too bad because those suckers are so far past their "debut," they're already working on a comeback. Moral of the Story: She's totally showing nips this time, right? [InTouch]
  • The lonely ballad of post-Playgirl Levi Johnston plays on: In response to Bristol Palin's demand for $1750/month child support, Levi's lawyer Rex Butler (why does everyone in his life has porn star names?) said Levi's "chances of increased income are as unknowable as it would be for any young person working his way into the entertainment industry: not particularly good." And with that, a man named Rex Butler killed a young Alaskan's dream. Naturally, Bristol "fired back." [TMZ] [Radar]
  • Newly released autopsy results confirm that Michael Jackson wore a wig, and add that he had tattooed lipliner. [NYDN]
  • Amanda Bynes tweeted about liking "chocolate" men, then tweeted again to defend herself: "SO quit hating on me because i'm VANILLA and i like CHOCOLATE, ok?" She thought her detractors were racist ("its 2010 get over it!") but eventually realized she was the racist, and tweleted. Luckily, bloggers have preserved the tweets for posterity. She and John Mayer should start a club. [EvilBeet]
  • Anne Hathaway is an ugly monster. "I've got really weird features," she told InStyle. "I'm not very pretty. But that's OK because I do know that I look like myself." Every time I see that girl I think to myself, Hopefully she has a good personality. Because, woof. [NYDN]
  • In a fit of musically-inclined joy, Taylor Swift and friends broke into choreographed song while romping in the froth of Melbourne's shore. They took turns rewatching it on a digital cameras. YouTube video forthcoming? [DailyMail]

Figure 1.