Octogenarian gossipeuse and human Eraserhead tribute Cindy Adams has an exclusive: perpetual candidate Harold Ford is totally a real New Yorker! (He's also another victim of this recession, because of his 45-day leave of absence from Merrill Lynch.)

Harold Ford is a fascinating case study on how living in a bubble of privilege may affect your ability to not say completely retarded things constantly. Maybe his quote about how MSNBC and NYU are allowing him to "keep food on the table" during his brief vacation from his job doing nothing for an investment bank was meant as a joke? Or maybe he literally has no idea of how much of an out-of-touch prick he sounds like every time he opens his mouth, because he socializes exclusively with fantastically wealthy morons.

REAL NEW YORKER WATCH: "Today [Ford's wife is] into marketing so she works from home, our condo in the Union Square Flatiron District, and she is totally involved in this decision."

ON THE ISSUES: "Corny and idealist as it sounds, I care about educating kids, raising taxes, health benefits, and I care that, to me, this country is going down a wrong road."

FORD'S GUIDE TO FINE DINING: "As for my wife, she makes me smile. She humanizes me. I never thought I'd do it, but she has me walking her tiny Chihuahua who's 11, even though I get funny looks. Fabby, by the way, is a New York creature. Tough. Takes on every big dog that comes near her. And we both love our neighborhood. Places like Rosa Mexicana, Starbucks, BLT Fish or, after church, First Presbyterian on 12th and Fifth, it's Big Daddy's on Park and 20th. They do great fried chicken."

Despite the lack of witnesses corroborating his claims, we've added those establishments to the Harold Ford map. (Besides "Starbucks," because... well, come on.) Not mentioned by Ford is Cindy's story of the first time she talked to him: he called her from his engagement party at the Hotel Ritz in Paris. (Also added to the map!)

Once again, if you've spotted Harold Ford out at a restaurant, bar, or lounge, let us know.

[Photo by Amy Sussman/Getty Images]