Republican Scott Brown just won Massachusetts' Senate Deathrace™. Brown ran a killer campaign and has promised to kill Democrats' health care bill. And it's lucky his daughters didn't die of embarrassment, given what he said in his victory speech tonight.

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Here is what the newly elected Senator from Massachusetts said as his daughters looked on in horror:

And as always, I rely on Gail's love and support and that of our two lovely daughters. So i want to thank Ayla and Arianna for their help as well. And just in case anyone who's watching throughout the country they're both available. No, no no. No. Only kidding, only kidding. Only kidding, only kidding. Arianna's definitely not available. But Ayla is.

The campaign for Ted Kennedy's senate seat may have ended in disaster, but the race for Ayla Brown's heart has just begun. (I, for one, am officially declaring my candidacy. -ED)

But let's not allow Brown's ridiculous speech distract us from the real story here: Brown's nekkid Cosmo spread. Oh, also: There's going to be a whole lot of Senate Democrats crying in their beer tonight about their lost supermajority.

Some instant takeaways from Brown's victory over Attorney General Martha Coakley:

  • Upset:Huge.
  • Turnout: High.
  • Democrats: Stunned, scrambling.
  • Teabaggers: More powerful than they seem?
  • Obama: "Not pleased" -Robert Gibbs.
  • Health Care Bill: Possibly screwed.
  • Ayla Brown: Single and ready to mingle.
  • Rachel Maddow: Sad.

Maddow's face upon hearing the news = Brown's daughters' faces upon hearing his acceptance speech.