If there's one thing America needs more of to solve its obesity crisis, it is flashing electronic doo-dads. And pricey customized gizmos. Combine these with exercise video games, and brother, you are the fitness person of the future!

  • Sure, you play a lot of Wii Fit. But do you play enough Wii Fit? Another plastic computer thingamajig knows! David Pogue introduces us to two little whatsits that you clip on your body, like a fool, and they will tell you whether or not you are moving sufficiently, in the course of the day, to satisfy their cold, electronic drill sergeant hearts. "I'm betting that you'd stick with these wearable plastic bits longer than you would with a gym membership - and pay a lot less," says David Pogue, Mr. Universe, 1993.
  • If you wear a custom-made mouthpiece (price: "$595 to $2,250, not counting the dentist's fee"), it will maybe do something for your athletic performance, or not. If you don't wear one, just sit on the couch with some pie, you fat fuck.

[Pic via]