It's (another) bad day to be Tiger — this time because the AP voted him athlete of the decade and everyone has new jokes about his 'athleticism'. But it's a good day to be an insurgent fighting US predator drones!

Woods really cannot catch a break. His wife is divorcing him, his doctor is unlicensed in the US and Accenture are brutally purging his presence from all of their offices and commercials. It's not that much more fun if you're Intel — they're tussling with the government for allegedly stifling competition. And insurgents are using some cheap Russian software to derail US drone attacks.

If you can read, you might also enjoy these stories. (If not, we suggest you watch television.)

  • The New York Times follow a Chinese delegation around the Met as they try and take back antiquities we stole.
  • The Washington Post say there may be a serial masked rapist on the east coast.
  • And the Wall Street Journal points out that Silicon Valley millionaires are still nerds at heart.

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: has a nice outline the MTA service cuts that essentially mean most New Yorkers will be walking everywhere on evenings and at weekends. Further afield there was a potential conspiracy to replace Karzai in Afghanistan and the difficulties US diplomats face in Islamabad. China want their antiques back, Accenture are doing the ex-boyfriend purge on Tiger Woods and the latest in the paper's series on water in the US reveals more unsavory facts. Enjoy!

The Washington Post: says it sucks to live in Ohio (or former steel towns there anyway) because of the recession. But that the Fed is scaling back crisis measures. Obama is taking on Intel for stifling competition and there may be a serial masked rapist on the east coast. But, heartwarmingly, a woman who was abandoned as a baby was reunited with her rescuers.

The LA Times: examines the balancing act between economic growth and environmental aims Obama must strike in Copenhagen. Earthquake detection systems in California have been improved though, so if the planet collapses seismologists will know about it sooner. The news that regulators are going after Intel is here too, as is an obituary for Roy Disney of... Disney. The feature is about mud flows after a forest fire. It never rains, but it pours.

The Wall Street Journal: leads with an exclusive — insurgents are using $26 software to hack predator drones. No word on whether there's an iPhone app for that yet. The treasury has decided not to sell the Citi stock it holds yet, as they'd have made a loss, and consumers no longer spend in the same way they used to. Also: people in Silicon Valley are nerds.

The New York Post: leads with the news that the AP voted Tiger Woods athlete of the decade. Because he just can't catch a break in terms of his story going away.

The Daily News: reports that Woods' doctor is unlicensed in the US, and that his wife is leaving him. Merry Christmas/Happy Hannukah/Joyful Kwanza Tiger!

Washington Express: has the best picture of a crazed climate protester ever.

El Punt: sounds like a Spanish swearword.