It's night two of the epic Sing-off, or The Subtle Train Wreck of 2009. Last night, the show proved to be educational beyond my wildest dreams. Did Nick Lachey and the gang keep it up tonight? HELL YEAH, they did!

Last night, The Sing-off taught me six new things, and I figured I'd be lucky if tonight's broadcast matched even half of that. Boy, was I wrong (in a good way). In fact, tonight's show was so packed with little nuggets of clip worthy knowledge that I learned six more new things in the first hour alone. And without any further ado, here they are.

1. Nick Lachey Still Thinks America Needs to Have the Concept of A Cappella Explained to Them

OK, that was from the beginning of the show, so it makes sense that he would recap for those who didn't tune in before. But surely he wouldn't keep repeating it after every commercial break, like he did last night, right?

2. White People—Besides Eminem—Can't Rap

3. Mormon Girls Can Keep Boyfriends and Still Remain Virgins

How, you ask? They used their performance to illustrate it.

4. Nick Lachey Really Likes the Judges

And he introduces them accordingly.

5. Nicole Scherzinger is the New Paula Abdul

Last night, Scherzinger spoke with a Hawaiian accent when talking about "dah Islands." Tonight, when talking about Alicia Keys, she channeled a black woman.

She's also insane.

6. Is It Possible to Make a Taylor Swift Song Sound Even More White?

Yes. Yes it is.

It's official: The Sing-off is the gift that keeps on giving.