You wouldn't know it by his calm, collected demeanor, but Gordon "You Donkey" Ramsay's restaurant empire is still facing significant financial troubles. We have a surefire plan to get you back on track, You Donkey!

A year ago, Ramsay's restaurant empire had some trouble paying back millions in loans. Here is a plan for future success, Gordon Ramsay! It goes a little something like this: 1) Take some of the money from these ventures, detailed by Bloomberg Markets...

  • "In the U.K., he earns more than 2 million pounds annually from Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares and The F Word... In 2009, Hutcheson says Ramsay's talent fees from U.S. shows alone hit $9 million."
  • "Ramsay has also published two autobiographies and lent his name to 23 cookbooks... [his books] have generated almost 25 million pounds in U.K. sales alone. Ramsay also endorses pots, pans, glasses and china branded as Gordon Ramsay by Royal Doulton, and he's Diageo Plc's U.K. pitchman for Gordon's Gin. Hutcheson says Ramsay makes about 3 million pounds a year from endorsements."
  • "In 2004, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares debuted in the U.K., making him a household name. Mike Darnell, Fox's president of alternative entertainment, saw him in a reality series, Hell's Kitchen, and signed him to make U.S. versions of both shows. According to Hutcheson, Ramsay earns about $250,000 per episode. On Nov. 3, Fox announced that Ramsay will also star in MasterChef, an American version of the British cookery contest."

...and then 2) Put that money in your pocket and walk away from the restaurant business forever. The restaurant business sucks. The celebrity business is delicious.