Jeffery Epstein, the billionaire money manager who recently finished a prison sentence for soliciting under-aged prostitutes, is now claiming he is the victim of racketeering at the hands of a lawyer who represented women suing him.

Cityfile reports on the egg-shaped-penis-having
billionaire's lawsuit against Florida lawyer Scott Rothstein, who represented some of Epstein's victims (good), but was recently charged with running a $1.2 billion Ponzi scheme (bad):

This week Epstein filed suit against Rothstein and his former partners alleging they "prejudiced his defense of criminal and civil actions related to his alleged sexual activities," and used his name to attract investors to the Ponzi scheme by claiming-falsely-that 51 women had sued him for his sexual misdeeds (instead of three) and that he'd agreed to settle the suits for $200 million (which he had not).

Basically, Rothstein allegedly dangled a huge settlement in front of potential investors by making Epstein appear ever-so-slightly more despicable than he actually is; then Rothstein scammed them. According to the ABAJournal, Epstein is seeking "unspecified damages in excess of $15,000."

But if using Epstein's scum-bagginess to make money is "racketeering," what does that make us? God knows we've mined that rich vein for a long, long time.