World leaders are meeting in Copenhagen to try and curb global warming. The tabloids are doubtless checking to see if Tiger Woods has a mistress there — because he apparently has them everywhere else.

The Post report that the number of girls who come forward might be as high as 12. You have to hope he fessed up fully to his wife early on in the scandal, or each day must be a fresh torture. In ostensibly more important news, each paper takes a slightly different angle on the ultimately dry tale of the summit in Copenhagen:

  • The New York Times looks at the aftermath of those leaked anti-global-warming emails.
  • The LA Times examines the bald fact that economics drives any progress that might be made on curbing emissions.
  • The Wall Street Journal proves them right by looking at EPA guidelines that are about to take effect and force businesses to curb CO2 anyway.

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: proves that everyone loves old, super-80s-looking advertisements by running a couple on the front page to illustrate a story about marketing cellphones to drivers. In other shady business: members of Congress take enormous freebies in the form of trips paid for by companies. There's news that the bailout will not be as big a loss as feared, and in the obvious section: global warming actually exists, Afghanistan will be messy to pull out of and online sample sales are becoming popular.

The Washington Post: gets an exclusive on almost 100 secret service security breaches since 1960. While they're holding bits of government accountable, they also point out that they're leaving tens of millions of dollars of equipment in Iraq while pulling out. But at least General McChrystal's plan is mainly untouched in Afghanistan. The children of Latino immigrants struggle to make ends meet, and 'green' restaurants struggle to live up to the name.

The LA Times: provides two examples of the stupidity of organized religion; Anglicans are getting upset by a lesbian bishop in LA, and a study shows more American Muslims are getting radicalized. In rebranding news, John McCain, perhaps jealous of Sarah Palin's book tour, is coming back to the fore in the Republican party and China would like to be seen as a maker of nice things. Apparently economics has an impact on climate change negotiations, and the paper proves again that it loves drugs.

The Wall Street Journal: says businesses are up in arms at actually having to curb carbon dioxide emissions, under new EPA rules, instead of just putting nice green logos on their stationery. AIG executives, those heroes of the modern world, feel they deserve more money, and a stalled resort project in the Caribbean provides one reason of about 437 they are wrong. People are getting by though; they're using a loophole in a US Mint scheme to rack up airmiles.

The New York Post: another day, another girl that Tiger Woods has allegedly schtupped.

The Daily News: run both Tiger Woods' continued woes and a report on Billy Joel's daughter's suicide attempt.

The Kingman Daily Miner: reminds us of a more innocent time — a time when golfers just played golf, and people all got along and celebrated Christmas together.

Politiken (Denmark): please join us in playing the 'what the hell is going on here, and why is Michael Johnson in it' game. Clearly it's something to do with the summit. But what?