Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Heart! Sex! With your powers combined... I am the Copenhagen climate summit! Starting tomorrow, delegates to the COP15 summit will be saving the world and maybe getting laid a lot, thanks to free prostitute sex.

In fact, in advance of the two-week summit Copenhagen's mayor was so concerned about COP15-related horndoggery that he she sent postcards to hotels urging conference attendees to "be sustainable: Don't buy sex" (which, huh!?). In a city where prostitution is legal, she wants COP15 delegates to focus on emissions, not "emissions". (Har-dee-har-har.)

Now, according to Der Spiegel, the sex workers union, SIO, is fighting back in the most awesome way possible: by offering free sex to anyone who brings in a copy of the postcard and their COP15 ID badge.

If you are a guest or delegate at COP15, Sexworkers in Copenhagen are accepting the postcard as payment for sex. In other words – we offer free sex for your postcard. We do this as a protest against the unjust and degrading campaign of the City Council.

SIO has also created a website protesting the mayor's action. Because clearly what this conference needs is more people protesting it.

How did the world's carbon warriors get a reputation befitting your weird bachelor uncle? According to the SIO's website:

Back in May Copenhagen hosted a small conference on climate changes, as a part of the preparations for COP15. After this conference a newsletter published by the trade union 3F – which for years has campaigned for criminalising the purchase of sexual services – told its readers that the conference had resulted in booming sex sales.

Makes sense: nothing burns off the stress of staring for hours at temperature trends that spell out our inevitable doom like a quick hummer of the non-vehicular variety. However: According to SIO, the reported sex sale boost was just anti-sex worker propaganda:

We had not experienced any increase in number of costumers during the conference. We made a survey to 10 individual sex workers, a number of brothels and escort services. None of which had seen extra activity either. One sex worker even expressed discontent and annoyance with the escort service she worked at, because she read about all of these extra clients and did not understand why she had not experienced this increase in clients herself.

So the lame Mayor—presumably anti-sex work—decided to use COP15 as a way to push her political agenda.

But now that COP15 delegates get free sex there is absolutely no reason why sex sales shouldn't spike higher than post-industrial revolution levels of CO2 in the atmosphere. All you have to do is send your name and contact information to and produce your ID card and postcard at the time of, er, purchase. As our mom used to say: Have fun! Be safe! Save the world!

Climate change delegates: as randy as they are hopeful about developing a workable international framework to halt global warming.