What is on the agenda of Philadelphia's most popular hero, Arthur Kade? "I need to practice riding horses, spear fighting, and sword fighting." Just like Napoleon Dynamite! But did Napoleon fend off thrown vagina with the ease of Kade?

There are so many times (One occurred today) that I hear Papa Kade's words to me, "You have chosen a hard and lonely path to walk", where I realize that despite all the fame, the celeb status, the vagina that's thrown in my face like Water Ice, and the awards and money that I will soon have, that this is a road that Arthur Kade walks alone, but today is one of those days where I know that god tests me to be the biggest and most famous actor and writer in the world, and communicates and says, "Brand, make the hard choices now, so that you can make easy ones later on when you have touched Little Oscar".

Btw he's gonna be at "Art Basil," so, ladies?
[Pic via]