In his announcement that last night's broadcast would be his last for CNN, Lou Dobbs reassured viewers that he is "considering a number of options and directions" next. Which one will he choose? Let's set the odds.
Fox Business Network
Pro: Fox has been wooing Dobbs for months; TV chair Roger Ailes reportedly wined and dined him in September. Between the additions of mustachioed libertarian John Stossel and ebullient racist cowboy Don Imus, FBN's on a hiring spree. Dobbs would be a perfect fit; one mere lifetime ago, he was a well-respected business reporter, after all. The fact that he went off the rails into right-wing demagoguery will only sweeten this deal.
Con: Dobbs' intense xenophobia forces him to break from the pro-business pack's love of cheap immigrant labor. They'd bond over their mutual revulsion for Barack Obama, though.
Pro: Conservative columnist Robert Novak was the first to float Dobbs' name for a third-party presidential ticket. The self-proclaimed "independent populist" has a diehard fanbase in politically sought-after middle America, and is himself from Idaho and Texas. Though bashful about his political prospects, he said in January, "I cannot say never."
Con: He also said this: "I haven't got the personality or nature to be a poitician."
His One True Love: Astronaut Media
Pro: Last time Dobbs cut and ran from CNN, it was to be CEO of Space.com, a start-up venture that indulged his unabiding passion for deep space and extraterrestrials. Space tourism is heating up, and the leap from birther to earther isn't so far...
Con: Space.com is doing just fine without Dobbs—even finagling a content-sharing deal with CNN. Also, it'd be totally insane.
Pro: During Dobbs' Space.com phase, he worked closely with the very network that had undermined his business news show on CNN. At the time, CNBC's aggressive formula of stock tips and financial advice was ratings gold. Now, whatwith the financial collapse and all, it's just embarrassing.
Con: Going to CNBC would break Dobbs' trajectory of moving away from his actual area of expertise (finance, economics) and towards his imagined one (the president's birth certificate). That's the kind of momentum that's hard to stop, but if all he wants is a job and a platform, CNBC will probably be willing to listen.