Today, Pulitzer-winning New York Times political columnist Maureen Dowd answers the question, "what would you hear if Dick Cheney put you on hold?" The answer may surprise you!

It certainly surprised us, that not a single editor told Maureen Dowd to ditch the completely pointless and unfunny parody of the theme song to "Ghostbusters" that opens an otherwise completely harmless and fine column.

"If there's someone weak,
if you've sprung a leak,
if the world looks bleak,
if you hide and seek,
who ya gonna call?

"If you hide and seek"??? What?

Anyway the rest of the column is about how Dick Cheney and his terrible daughters are all terrible, which you knew. We look forward to next week's column, "Biden He Does As He Pleases," which will explain what to do when you're stuck on the Amtrak between the moon and New York City.