Ice-cold saintly hero pilot Chesley Sullenberger didn't blink after the engines on his plane failed, forcing him into a death-defying river landing. The passengers, on the other hand, were totally freaked the fuck out. Book excerpt, ho!

Two books are coming out about Sully and the dramatic(ally short) Flight 1549 that crashed in the Hudson. One of them is Sully's own book, Highest Duty. Let's be honest: Dude's a great pilot, but maybe not a born writer of dramatic tales. The book is called "Highest Duty." Not "How to Crash Land a Plane in a Motherfucking River and 99 Other Life Skills Every Badass Should Know." Which would have been our title recommendation, but it's not a big thing.

But the other book, Miracle on the Hudson, excerpted in USA Today, is full of passengers talking about how they were all scared out of their gourd, which is really what the public wants to hear after things like this. Scary things! The jet shook after hitting the geese; the engines stopped and caught fire; a lady screamed. The smell of "a mix of jet fuel, burning hair and burning flesh" permeated the cabin. The passengers...acted about how you would probably act, in such a situation. Ridiculously.

Lori Lightner burst out: "Oh, crap, we're crashing." Then she quickly prayed, "Forgive me for everything I've done wrong. I don't have time to go through it all because I'm going to die."

Haha! It's funny because she didn't die. At least one pithy, movie-ready remark came out of this ghastly affair:

In first-class Denise Lockie, an office-supply executive, remained braced in her seat until her seatmate, Mark Hood, an ex-Marine, nudged her.
"Am I in heaven?" she asked him.
"No, and I'm no angel," Hood, a deeply religious man, replied as he urged her to get moving.

Hollywood's calling, Sully. Get ready to play yourself in a movie. Mortal humans don't have that edge.
[Pic: AP]