Oh oh oh, merry Christmas, it's a semi-credulous story in the New York Times about Harvard students and deprivation. Our nation's greatest treasures (Harvard students) are quite literally going to die, from poverty!

There's a terrible recession on, okay, and Harvard has lost billions of dollars, and who is suffering? The Harvard Student Hobos. Consider their deprivations: Athletes must buy their own sweatsuits! Faculty members must buy their own cookies! Students in far-flung dorms are being forced to walk upwards of ten minutes just to reach campus—and they must buy their own breakfasts along the way! Excuse Harvard students for being surprised to find themselves in the slums of Lagos or somewhere similar!

"Students generally feel that if you come to Harvard, for what you're paying, you should probably have the right to a hot breakfast," said Andrea Flores, a senior who is president of the Undergraduate Council. "They want to preserve the things that are at Harvard that you can't get anywhere else."

Things that are at Harvard that you can't get anywhere else: Breakfast. Alrighty. The people most affected are Harvard athletes, who must now stumble home from practice and pass out due to lack of nutrients. Luckily Harvard athletes sucked already so nobody can tell the dif. (Except you, Matt Birk!).

"I think the [budget cut] process can hopefully be done peacefully." YEA PROBABLY SO, *snicker*.