Nothing is more anti-American than telling children to stay in school, which is why Mr. T was arrested for espionage in 1984. President Obama, though, thinks he's above the law, so parents are boycotting his upcoming address to schools.

Well, we don't actually know if any parents are boycotting it, but a crazy email is demanding that they do so!

On September 8, Barack Obama will deliver a speech to schoolchildren on the importance of education. The speech will be broadcast live at noon on the White House website, and principals across the country have been encouraged to encourage their teachers to encourage their children to watch it, which is just like how did they did in Soviet Russia when Stalin told them to do their homework or get sent to the Gulags!

First the chairman of the Florida GOP gave a carefully considered and reasonable statement about how "taxpayer dollars are being used to spread President Obama's socialist ideology," and now we have this awesome viral email about a national day of protest.

Word is traveling fast on the internet, between bloggers and twitter, the choice is clear : No school for kids on September 8th due to the beginning of Socialist Indoctrination of Americas children.

Hah. See, this would be one of the very few times when it'd totally kick ass to be the child of a Glenn Beck-watching bitter white teabagger. Also their suggestions for what to make your child do instead of school—"Take a day of vacation. Go to the zoo."—are a fine suggestion for any parent, on any occasion. One day of school is nothing compared to the memory of a magical day at the zoo with your parents. (As long as it's not one of those government-funded socialist zoos.)

And in conclusion:



He's not trying to touch them or anything guys! Christ!

(It is funny to see all these dudes being all anti-authoritarian now, right? Not really "ha ha" funny, but still.)