In your finally Friday media column: Army profiles of journalists are a huge waste of money, a special journalists asks for a special job, the New Yorker hires someone expressly to make you jealous, and newspapers lose billions again.

The shady ass Rendon Group is profiling journalists who want to embed with the US Army to determine how pro-Army they are. P.J. Tobia got ahold of the profile they did on him! "His most recent article is neutral-to-positive while his previous work has been neutral or neutral-to-negative." Whoever wrote that gets paid way more than actual journalists, btw.

Kansas City Star columnist Mike Hendricks decided to apply for an advertised position at a PR firm like so: "I would be happy to submit an application, but I'd hate to be wasting your time and mine if it turns out this is some minor league position with a paltry salary." Haha! You tell them what is what, Kansas City Star columnist Mike Hendricks.

You will want to be making friends with Amelia Lester, because she is 26 years old and the brand new managing editor of the New Yorker. She's a Harvard alum! And a foreigner. Amelia hey let's go hang out, oh did I mention this story idea I've been kicking around? I did? Here, have another drink while I tell you again.

In the second quarter of '09, newspaper ad sales were down 29% compared to a year ago. But hey, what is a $2.8 billion hole to an industry as strong as newspapers?