Prison Snitches Say Madoff Has Cancer
Bernie Madoff's post-criminal career has been filled with indignities: house arrest, poverty for his wife, and unflattering penis size revelations. And now he may have cancer. Which would be worse than all of the above, yes.
The New York Post has been working the attention-starved prison sources at Madoff's new home hard, and they're snitching, lots. They say Bernie is taking "20 pills a day for his cancer" and is "not doing very well." [His cancer had been rumored even before his trial—You may recall that Bernie's prison in Butner, NC has an entire hospital facility attached for old and/ or sick prisoners.]
For all the hatred of Madoff and death wishes hurled at him during his trial, it's still sad to hear something like this now. He's become one of America's most pitiful figures. But perhaps he's finally found some real friends—prisoners tell the Post that he's taking part in sweat lodges, working painting fences, and being catered to by various prison cliques who'd like to recruit him, for some reason. He's apparently decided against the Nazi Low Riders or the Black Guerilla Family:
Madoff is also making new friends at the prison complex through another unlikely clique — the homosexual posse, although the relationships are purely platonic, according to the sources.