This sad news comes in the middle of the young couple's publicity tour for Paper Heart, the fake documentary about how their real-life (now real-dead) romance came to be. Or perhaps this is just some publicity stunt? Some kind of meta-advertising gimmick affirming Paper Heart's notion that true love is hard to find and hold? In this era of put-ons and fakery (yeah, yeah, we know you may very well be reading this right next to a banner ad for Paper Heart — it's not our call) who can trust anything? Certainly not dating gossip about America's Twee-hearts from an outlet like Star.
Still, the Yi-Cera relationship gave the sweatpants community of geek girls hope that their precious wit and song writing skills were enough to keep a sensitive young man away the dopey taneroxic starlets of Hollywood. So doesn't this news make you want to pout?
What's even more pout-inducing is what else Star's source told the tabloid:
"Charlyne is beyond sad. And the break-up is so much harder because she'll have to see him on tour."
As a whip-smart commenter pointed out a love-affair with between Yi and Cera would have been like a "gummi bear getting it on with the Velveteen Rabbit." We speculated that a boy with Cera's sexual persona may in fact not have genitals, just a rainbow colored fleshy patch that sparkles when excited. If this is true, which is likely, then could Cera and Yi ever really have dated?
Whether put-on or physical impossibility, both theories leave room for a Cameron Crowe-style reconciliation. Young geeky outsider chooses to go after a popular beauty but discovers she is shallow and small minded thus forcing him to look in his own backyard. There he sees a girl with unwaxed eyebrows, in sweatpants, strumming a guitar and she embodies beauty in her own independent way.
Drinks are on us, Charlyne!