OMG, you guys. So that movie Orphan comes out today—it's that Vera Farmiga creepy kid flick where she screams and screams as she realizes she already made this movie before—and we know the surprise ending! And it's hilarious.
Here you go:
Esther is really a 33-year-old woman who was born with proportional dwarfism which causes her to have the appearance of a child. She also happens to be a former prostitute, who had wealthy pedophiles for clients. The reason why she has her neck covered is because she was once in asylum and she struggled so much in her straitjacket that it left with her deep scars on her neck.
Yes, you read that right. The answer to the question of Orphan is: Secret Dwarf.
Secret Dwarf Hooker is a movie that just got made. Now I kind of want to see it. Hopefully there's a scene at the end after Vera and Peter Sarsgaard figure it out and little orphan Esther lights up a smoke and talks about the 80s and then drives off in an old Datsun. Hopefully.