American Idol charming kook Paula Abdul has not, we repeat, NOT received a contract for next season, which starts shooting in, um, three weeks. Is it the end of television? Will FOX fold? It's Armageddon!

"It does not appear that she's going to be back on 'Idol,'" says Paula's manager David Sonenberg. He's tried and tried to get some sort of deal from producers FremantleMedia and 19 Entertainment, but well... we all know what it means when Hollywood doesn't return calls. Blame new judge Kara DioGuardi. Paula's status as Queen of AI felt rocky as soon as there was a new girl in town. We smell a catfight!

Ryan Gay/Straight/Gay Seacrest, meanwhile, sits pretty and overly tanned with his three-year, $45 million deal. Oh, Paula, we love you, because you're cra-ay-ay-azy! [EW]