Have you heard about the appearance of Michael Jackson's ghost during Larry King's broadcast from Neverland last Thursday? Plenty of America's most staggering dipshits saw it, so CNN devoted an entire segment on King's show tonight to solving the mystery.

And the answer to all of this is—A crew member walked passed a lighting fixture, creating a shadow on the wall. Yep, that's it, just as any person with moderate levels of oxygen flowing to the brain should have deduced on their own. But thanks for getting to the bottom of this CNN. We'll all sleep much easier tonight.

This whole Michael Jackson thing can't end soon enough.