Looks like those clever backdoor bailouts orchestrated by the plethora of carefully placed henchman throughout the highest levels of government has paid off—Goldman Sachs will pay out the biggest bonuses in its history after a "spectacular first half."

Reports the Guardian:

A lack of competition and a surge in revenues from trading foreign currency, bonds and fixed-income products has sent profits at Goldman Sachs soaring, according to insiders at the firm.

Staff in London were briefed last week on the banking and securities company's prospects and told they could look forward to bumper bonuses if, as predicted, it completed its most profitable year ever. Figures next month detailing the firm's second-quarter earnings are expected to show a further jump in profits. Warren Buffett, who bought $5bn of the company's shares in January, has already made a $1bn gain on his investment.

Further, the piece cites "experts" who say that Goldman's bonus-slinging ways is a big "F You!" to those trying to regulate a corrupt financial system. You don't say?!

Vince Cable, the (UK) Liberal Democrat treasury spokesman, said: "The investment banks more than any other institutions created the culture of excessive leverage, excessive risk and excessive bonuses that led to the downfall of the financial system. Now they are cashing in and the same bonus culture has returned. The result must be that we are being pushed to the edge of another crash."

This proves once and for all that Goldman Sachs is in fact running the United States government. Thank you Hank Paulson, Neel Kashkari et al for setting up the circumstances that have fully illuminated this fact. We're sort of pissed about this but, at the same time, feel liberated by you guys finally affirming who our true masters are. So yeah, thanks a lot a-holes.

The only bright spot in all of this is that Matt Taibbi is going to be so pissed about it, and we kind of like it when Taibbi is pissed off about something.

Goldman To Make Record Bonus Payout [Guardian]