Happy last Wednesday of spring! It comes only once a year, and you probably don't want to waste the rest of it doing something inane or frivolous. So why not join our commenter live blog instead?
The show gets under way (on Bravo) at 10 Eastern. Until then, grab a drink, relax and limber up your typing fingers while I run through these highlights from last week:
- Chef k.d. love (as commenter KateKate dubbed him) fell victim to his inability to tell them gol-darn new-fangled freezers and 'frigerators apart. Back in Texas, you see, they just tie a rope to their food and toss it in a stream to keep it cool. It's much less confusing.
- Hubert Keller, the "Gourmet Gandalf," earned a spot in the final by vanquishing his strongest foe, Christopher Lee — although not the same Christopher Lee who played the evil wizard Saruman. Apparently, Gandalf always defeats Christopher Lee, in any context.
- We generally liked Keller, although some of were repulsed by his dormitory-bathroom-cooking tricks — especially when he stirred pasta with the flexible showerhead (a device whose previous uses and locations are probably best left uncontemplated.)
- Wylie Dufresne, "molecular gastronomist" (a k a "nerd chef") and owner of wd-50, the N.Y. eatery named after the substance he uses to style his hair (which is actually WD-40, but close enough.). I think his hair-and-specs look makes him look a little like Ben Franklin — in Franklin's younger, geekier days, I mean … before he invented electricity and got laid a lot.
- Elizabeth Falkner, a pastry chef who so rocks the Annie Lennox look that I'm surprised she didn't name her dessert restaurant "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)." It's actually called "Citizen Cake," which is an awful name.
- Graham Elliot Bowles, one of those three-named people with no clear reason for having three names. (I hate that.)
- Suzanne Tracht, a California chef soon to open her third restaurant, "Suzpree" — a name that is both awful and unpronouncable.
Maybe I should become a restaurant-naming consultant? These people need help. Anyhoo … I've perused tonight's preview clips, and suggest we watch for the following tonight:
- Dufresne will say nerdy things like "I got the immersion circulator set up!" Because he's a nerd. (An immersion circulator is apparently a nerd-culinary device used by nerd chefs to make nerd cuisine.)
- Tom Colicchio will appear briefly, just to remind us how much we miss him.
- The chefs will have to butcher and cook a polar bear for writers and producers of ABC's Lost (which is true, except for the part about the polar bear). It strikes me that this would be a clever network cross-promotion if Bravo weren't owned by NBC. But what do I know about the TV business, except how to mindlessly consume its product?
Anyway, enough of my bloviating — it's time for some commentating! And as you commentate, remember: The last Wednesday of spring is also is the first day of the rest of your life. So here's to new beginnings!