If Gisele Bundchen covers can't sell magazines, what is it that you people really want? This may be Michelle Obama's fault.

John Koblin points out that the May issue of Vanity Fair and the April issue of Harper's Bazaar both had the supermodel on the cover—and both were the respective magazines' lowest-selling issues of the year.

"It might be that she's losing her looks," quipped Vanity Fair spokeswoman Beth Kseniak.

We find your quip to be unsupported by the attendant evidence, Vanity Fair spokeswoman Beth Kseniak. More likely, Americans have grown so used to purchasing magazines with Michelle Obama on the cover that they find any woman who lacks an Ivy League degree and arms that mean business to be unworthy of their money and attention. And Linda Hamilton didn't go to Harvard. So All Michelle All The Time it is, until further notice.