The Way We Live Now: Reversibly. No one must feel ashamed of their newfound status as poors; Rather, we shall subtly shift the general public's perception of wealth into something distasteful. Yes. Yes. Class is wealth! Saving is salvation!

I mean look: you know who has hundreds of millions of dollars these days? A soccer player. Is that the type of person you aspire to be, really? Sweaty, longhaired Eurotrash, 'swapping spit' with Paris Hilton, allegedly?

I think not. The formerly rich may no longer have "money" but they do have their dignity, god damn it, and they refuse to give it up just because material things have gotten a little shabbier. Okay, so they can't blow $5,000 a night at Rick's Cabaret on pricey champagne and former models and Kobe beef; but they can 'blow' $30, on a bag of blow, and try to parlay that into a free blow job, from a prostitute.

It's all in maintaining the dignity, you see. The wealthy were not simply "rich" with dollars; they were "rich" with taste. That's why there's no shame in being a former high-end Manhattan fashionista reduced to shopping in Goodwill: because true taste will thrive in any environment, and besides, you saw your bitch friend sneaking in there last week when nobody was looking and then trying to pass off that dress later on as "vintage couture," and if she says one fucking word about where your dress came from then the whole story's coming out.

Class. Not money. Money's for foreigners.