Government bureaucrats are holding their fancy "hearings" in their air-conditioned offices to talk about what they can "learn" from the smooth river-ditching of US Airways Flight 1549 by hero pilot Chesley Sullenberger. Learn this, Poindexters: how a real hero talks:

The transcript shows that in the last 21 seconds of the flight - with cockpit warning systems blaring "terrain, terrain" and "pull up, pull up" - Sullenberger turned to co-pilot Jeff Skiles.

"Got any ideas?" he asked.

"Actually not," Skiles replied.

And then Sully just cold landed the plane in the motherfuckin' river. You can't put badass in a safety manual.