On Sunday the New York Post ran an article in which attorney Mark Geragos suggested that David Carradine was murdered by "groups working in the martial-arts underworld" and "secret societies of martial artists." We know what that's code for! Ninjas! Reports the Post:

The bizarre claim was made on "Larry King Live" on CNN Friday after a panel member said, "David was very interested in investigating and disclosing secret societies."

"Absolutely," said Geragos.

"What that means is connected to martial arts and his interest in martial arts," he continued. "And so there is a suspicion that if there was some foul play, that that may be the first area where they should look."

Secret societies in kung fu date back centuries and were originally formed as humanitarian groups, fighting on the side of the people against corrupt Chinese dynasties. But in the last 200 years, many started to turn to criminal activities.

If Carradine is found to have died at the hands of fake death-jerk staging ninjas, we'll probably be overwhelmed with sadness, as we recently tweeted our admiration for Carradine's unquenchable thirst for kink at age 72. His tragic death by autoerotic asphyxiation gives us hope that our own perversions will last, if not escalate, well into old age.

Whacky Kung Fu [New York Post]