Jon and Kate are packing legal heat, now; so is Evan Dando, and Kobe Bryant's maid, which finally gives TMZ the opportunity to teach readers about legislative law. Also, Marilyn Manson and Nazi Pubes. Your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Oh, shit. Jon and Kate Gosselin might be lawyering up; Jon gave People an interview from a lawyer's office. This sucks. [Page Six]

  • Pregnant R & B singer Kelis managed to Twitter - over a series of five or six Tweets - something about someone being a cheater, and cheaters cheating on people who don't deserve to be cheated on. She's probably talking about Nas, who she's getting divorced from soon. Meanwhile, a few Tweets later, she gives us the following film review of "The Hangover," out this weekend: "P.s there was a cute asian man in the movie. Very rare sighting so had to say it :)" In other news, Hipster Runoff is teaching celebrity blogging courses, somewhere. [P*r*z H*lt*n and Kelis' Twitter]
  • Jim Carrey's in some kind of freaky New Age Eastern Think group. Go, Hollywood? This is kind of 1999ish. [Hollywood Reporter]
  • Evan Dando's about to fuck. Some shit. Up. Except not. The Lemonheads' lead singer is suing GM for using "It's a Shame About Ray" in a bunch of their commercials without licensing it. As TMZ - who, really, is getting great at covering the legal affairs beat - explains, GM's broke-phi-broke, and Dando's lawsuit is kind of frivilous in that regard. Oh well. [TMZ]
  • More of TMZ educating their readership, this time, about California legislative power, by demonstrating how Cali's anti-SLAPP statues are helping Kobe Bryant's maid talk to the press about her lawsuit against the Bryants. Next up: when you should and should not engage in jury tampering. [TMZ]
  • Julia Roberts is in town filming Eat, Pray, Love and she's renting a place at 1 Morton Square in the West-West Village. I'd drop off a basket, say hi, maybe try to get her or Danny Moder to do a guest blog post, but that shit's so far west you need a visa to get there, so forget that. [Page Six]
  • Phil Spector's 28 year-old girlfriend - only three years older than his daughter, it's helpfully pointed out - says that this guy is a sex-crazed fiend, or at least that they did it all the time. [Page Six]
  • Marilyn Manson shaved a swastika into his new porn star girlfriend's ladyparts, and he used a protractor to do it. This sounds like something you do when you're 23 and going through your fifth year in college and the only girl you can bring home for the holidays is this batshit insane freshman goth, and your parents are talking about Republican politics at the dinner table, and you're like, OH YEAH? WELL THERE'S A SWASTIKA IN HER VAG AND I PUT IT THERE, SO THERE! and even the girl is thoroughly embarrassed and dumps you when you get back to school. You should probably graduate and get through that rebellious phase, you know? It's about time. Also, stop pretending to like The Smiths. [Kinda NSFW at Drunken Stepfather]
  • Blake Liveley and Penn Badgley were among the people who the W Hotel in Ft. Lauderdale paid to show up at the opening of their place. Penn's rocking a beard and I kind of dig it, if only because it's very "fuck you" to the teenage-celebrity-industrial-complex. Rebellion! Meanwhile, Ft. Lauderdale's entirely geriatric population is psyched to hit the bumpin' lounge at the Dub. [PopSugar]
  • Ron Weasley's main squeeze, Hermione, is magical in real life: she's doing all these fashion-forward things and the like. How can you not like Emma Watson? Seriously. She probably knows that if the real-life version of Hermione were a drunk moron, it'd be really sad. So she's either saving it until the movies are done, or she's an actual, responsible, image-conscious person in the best way. Which is, come to think of it, entirely possible. [Daily News]
  • Kevin Bacon is a responsible person when he flies the LA to NYC flight. He's nice, courteous, and folds his blankets. And here's where I explain that it's nice to not write something salacious or stupid about this, or him. [TMZ]
  • Bury-The-Lede Obama Bonus! The Obama women visited the Eiffel Tower yesterday while Dad was in Germany on business. It's their first trip abroad, ever since they've been in the White House. U Can Haz Jelusy. [NYDN]