Yesterday, former New York City mayor, failed presidential candidate, and perpetual asshole Rudy Giuliani was publicly heckled by a guy in Bridgehampton. Naturally, Rudy had the guy arrested. And now the heckler speaks to us!

As the story's been told by three papers: Rudy's walking down the street when 69 year-old Amagansett local John McCluskey (pictured, right) comes up to him and starts screaming at him. McCluskey allegedly threatened to "punch (Giuliani's) lights out" and Giuliani responded with something along the lines of "Bring it on!"

And that's about as far as it went, as neither party really "brought it." Giuliani's moll, Judi, dialed their driver and hysterically ordered an extraction operation of him, and shortly thereafter, called the 5-0 (not the sequence of events: driver, then cops). McCluskey went into the coffee shop, emptied out all the change in his pockets, and was soon arrested by the fuzz, who hit the scene minutes later. The entire thing lasted a few minutes, and really, it was just two old guys yelling at each other. McCluskey's mostly been painted as "crazed" and "a lunatic" by New York papers, though he was noted as "slim and well-dressed" by a Post quote, and looks like a dead-ringer for John Larroquette, to us. McCluskey took the initiative to get ahead of the press cycle, and emailed us this morning. The semi-press-releasey, [sic]-heavy email from him:

Dear Editor,

I am the alleged crazed John W. McCluskey who "tried to attack" sweet Rudy Gulianno "out for a stroll" in Bridgehampton. The fact is that while crossing the street I simply informed Rudy of my contempt for his sleazy bullying tactics for most of his prosecutorial life. I pointed out he would gladly prosecute and persecute the innocent as well as the guilty if it gained him publicity.

He became irate and angry and threatened to beat me up for daring to express my opinion. He flew into a rage in the middle of the street using the foulest of language and threatened to kick my ass.His wife tried to calm him down but he continued his ranting's. Of course he proved my point by having me arrested for speaking irreverently to his royal nothingness. He's a true egomaniac and a bully who can hand it out but can't take.

I'm a publisher and documentary film maker of good reputation, never having been arrested before.("When the Goddess Ruled the Earth" and "Zeus Almighty") which is in the process of release. Rudy in the 80's harassed me and my company Arden Communications on phoney allegations of wrong doing regarding tax shelters as he did to thousands of others. In any case, I just had surgery on my knee and wouldn't have been foolish enough to engage Rudy in fisticuffs, but looking at the shape of him would preclude any idea of hitting the poor man, he's truly pathetic looking.

Aside for all of that he probably knows I am working on a documentary on 911 which includes his ineptitude and mishandling of certain events leading up to 911 and he thought this would be a good opportunity to discredit me. I emptied my pockets trying to come up with enough change for coffee at the Golden Pear which is where I was going when I met Rudy.

John W. McCluskey
Arden Films

McCluskey also told Newsday that he is "not a respecter of [Giuliani], and..told him essentially that he would prosecute and persecute a cheese sandwich if he got the opportunity." Now, we doubt McCluskey actually said that, but if he did: hilarity, and also, kinda true (though the Gouda RICO Trials would be a great beat to cover). Giuliani's spokesperson - which, amazingly, he still has - noted that the mayor "handled himself well and was calm considering the situation."

It's not really that crazy to want to scream at Rudy Giuliani. He just did it, which, yeah: kinda makes him crazy, but kind of not! My favorite part of this McCluskey's email is that he tries to explain the change-emptying after he plugs his movie. A flack, and he pays for his coffee with change: a true New York hero, no doubt.

Rudy Giuliani confronts angry heckler at restaurant in the Hamptons [NYDN]
Rudy Giuliani accosted in Hamptons, police say [Newsday]
Rudy Giuliani Stands Up To Crazed Attacked On Hamptons Stroll [NYP]