The Way We Live Now: Involuntarily dieting. Cafeteria trays are a forgotten luxury. Sandwich boards are the new sandwiches. Stare in the windows of the many new luxury restaurants!

Poor college kids: no longer will football players be able to stack their cafeteria trays three-deep with plates surrounded by cupcakes and ringed by six separate glasses of fruit punch to selectively spill on nerds. Because now colleges across the nation are eliminating cafeteria trays, allegedly "in hopes of conserving water, cutting food waste, softening the ambience and saving money." Really it's because there is not enough food to fit upon them, any longer.

Everybody is standing around Manhattan wearing sandwich boards shilling this and that. Just to earn a few lousy bucks. [Whoa that pays $17 an hour, plus commission? Damn!]

Luckily there are lots of extremely fancy restaurants getting ready to open in NYC. Luckily for the bankruptcy industry. And for lovers of fine cuisine, who like to dumpster dive!

Sandwiches in cafeterias; Sandwich Boards; Fancy restaurants that probably don't even serve sandwiches. I think we've demonstrated our theme here. Sandwiches are the food of the recession? We're all living in a shit sandwich? You could go a few different ways with it. The point is, if things don't work out, you can always move to Phoenix. Cheap! Anybody?