Do you love stories of high society intrigue, but can't stand young people? Then the Brooke Astor case has everything you need: Famous New York Families! Money! And best of all, criminal old people!

The trial is finally starting for Anthony Marshall (pictured), accused of swindling grand NYC society dame Brooke Astor—his mom!—out of millions of dollars in the final, Alzheimers-ridden years of her life. What a presumed innocent dick. Let's hear some of the sensationally prickish things he did, allegedly!

— He stole a valuable painting from his mom's house!
Oh and this:

That same year, a nurse watched in helpless shock as Marshall and his shady attorney marched the doddering, 101-year-old doyenne — one man clutching her by either arm — into her drawing room to sign papers in which Marshall gave himself sole power of $60 million of his mother's money, prosecutors charge.

Supposedly he was funneling a lot of the stolen cash to his wife, which gives the tabloids a moral excuse to note that his wife has a big fat ass (seriously, paragraph six!).

Anthony Marshall is 84 years old and he's gonna trot out character witnesses like Barbara Walters, so the trial should be a good time for one and all.
[Pic: Getty]