How did hipster grifter and fugitive from justice Kari Ferrell take advantage of so many people in two separate states? With charm! We have two charming emails from her, as proof. She's sorry, okay?

Yesterday I emailed Kari to ask her if she had anything she wanted to say to you, the public. Here's her response:


Hi there. I have received several "offers" from other websites, and pundits, allowing me to get my side of the story out. I haven't responded to any of them, and honestly, I'm not quite sure why I am emailing you.

Anyway, I am including a paragraph from the email that I have been sending to people who contact me.

I am very sorry for everything I have done, and cannot— and will not—make any bloviated excuses for my actions.


Also, as far as Vice Magazine goes, I never once betrayed the trust they bestowed upon me. I had all bank account information and never considered scamming them. We left one another on good terms, and with the understanding that there were no hard feelings. The reason that the initial article was even posted on the website, is because they found out that I had told someone that I still worked for the company. I recognize that that was a bad decision, and that I shouldn't have said that, but I never stole anything from them, or had any intention of doing so.

Apologies for brevity and any blunders in spelling; this was sent from a fucking iPhone.

And then she forwarded this, the standard apology she's been emailing around:

"Yes, I made mistakes and yes, I hurt people who cared for me (and vice versa). However, I have made amends with most of those individuals, and have attempted to rectify my poor decisions by paying them back. I know that it is neither here nor there, but what the article didn't mention is that I haven't done anything of that nature for years. I understand that that, in no way, justifies what I did...but I definitely recognize that what I did was really REALLY shitty, and like to think that I have learned from my mistakes.

Anyway, I didn't mean to barrage you with my...whatever the fuck those preceeding paragraphs sincere apologies."

Apologies for brevity and any blunders in spelling; this was sent from a fucking iPhone.

Textbook crisis PR! Kari Ferrell could go open a communication firm, tomorrow, charging $200 per hour. And be worth it. Although the humble, straightforward nature of her apology loses some of its sheen when you consider the fact that she was sending this weepy email to her closest friends just days ago (reminder: Kari Ferrell does not have cancer):


I don't really know how to say this in an eloquent manner, and I apologize for even thinking that telling you in a mass email is acceptable, but I am in a position where this is the best I've got.

As you know, I've been dealing with some rough health issues the past little bit. Tonight, while in the hospital, I was told that the cancer has spread to some of my organs and that major surgery needed to take place.

Anyway, at this point in my life I don't think that I am strong enough to deal with this. I wish that I could be as strong as all of you are, and that I possessed all of the fucking phenomenal attributes that you do, but I don't. I am pathetic and weak. Honestly, I'm surprised that I even made it this far (and the only reason I did is due to you).

I feel like, at this point, I am burning everything down to the ground, because that is all there is left for me to do. I am sorry for being so selfish. I don't deserve any of you, and I cannot tell you how grateful I am to have you guys in my life. People like you are the only thing that would ever make me consider the existence of a higher power. I don't know how I found you, but I am so lucky that I did.

My course of action may not be what you think is right, and you may resent me for it, but I really do have your best interest in mind.

I promise promise personal emails/phone calls within the next little bit, I just had to get this off of my (AWESOME) chest now.

I love you all dearly.

Without Wax,

Apologies for brevity and any blunders in spelling; this was sent from a fucking iPhone.

Our tipster thinks her fucking iPhone was stolen.
[Pic via]