In your deluged Monday media column: Conde's heartbreaking receptionist layoff, the Miami Herald is JUST FINE, Lee Abrams is a cuddly animal, and Iceland is so touchy:

One of the victims of the Conde Nast receptionist purge last week was Betty Wales, who started as a Conde receptionist in the 1940s, and put in more than 30 years total on the job. At her going-away party, "She smiled brightly, but stopped short of her usual giggle. 'I've got to think of something to replace it.'" Damn that's sad.

The editor of the Miami Herald argues that the paper's not going anywhere, so relax. His main arguments: the paper has a lot of readers, and it will turn a profit this year. Hmm, yes, these are just a few of the reasons you should buy the paper from McClatchy immediately, please!

Michael Kinsley: "Judging from Tribune Co., for which I once worked, the typical newspaper executive is a bear of little brain." Haha! Lee Abrams is a lovable panda.

Don't write magazine stories making jokes at Iceland's expense, or they'll call out the killer elves on you.